Welcome to Things I Used to Say

I’ve always swum against the cultural current, maybe even given the zeitgeist a nudge. I told appalling jokes in my 20s. At 40 I left a bad marriage, then helped other women do the same. In my 60s I began growing old politically, and became the leading voice of the global movement to end ageism. It’s been a fascinating and wildly gratifying time, and is documented in depth at This Chair Rocks. I’m stepping away from there and moving here. Because it turns out that I mix it up every 20 years or so, and now is the time.

The ageism thing began as a blog called “So When Are You Going to Retire?” I hope to work till I’m dead. I also want to be more intentional and self-indulgent (so sue me) about how to spend the rest of my time on earth. Most of us will have more of that than ever before in human history. But longer lifespans are new, and roles and rituals haven’t have time to catch up.

One of the things we’re crap at is succession. One reason is political: capitalism sorts people into “productive” wage-earners and useless burdens. Another reason is human: it’s hard to give up voice and visibility. Options: pass the baton; lose the baton; clutch the baton. Here’s a metaphor I like better: hang onto the torch and pass the flame. That’s what I hope to model next. I’m going to keep writing and speaking about ageism. I’m also going to seek out and support youngers as obsessed as I am with upending the narrative that to age is to fail. My flame will dim as theirs fill the space with light. What could be better?

I also plan to reflect on how I got here, and why. It feels like no coincidence that my mentor Dr. Robert Butler, who invented the word “ageism,” also came up with the concept of life review. He described it as a vital task in late life, a developmental process of revisiting past events, facing regrets and forgiveness, and arriving at a sense of wholeness. I’m the same person I always was, just older. Yet some things that once mattered a great deal have lost their hold, while others matter more than ever. What would I say differently now, or not say, or say instead?

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